I want to thank everyone who follows me simply for following me. I always thought that I had an extremely offbeat sense of humor and that I'm a little strange (heck, I am), but knowing that people kinda like some of the jokes I make makes me feel like I might actually be able to be a stand-up comedian like I want to.
Enough sappy crap.
- "Hello, my name is Samihaji Hajib. I am a Muslime foreign exchange student from Dubai." HIDE THE JEWS! WE NEED TO CHEAT OFF THEM ON TESTS!
- Paris Hilton's lips are like dip; I don't want it anywhere near my mouth.
- The Ultimate MTV show: My Super Sweet 16 & Pregnant
- If you've ever watch 16 & Pregnant, then you know two things: 1. Georgia has a bunch of horny country bumpkins and 2. Gluing your purity ring to your finger isn't as easy as you think.
- Formspring is like it's users: Dead by it's own hand.
- My sex life is unfortunately like Miley Cyrus' acting skills: Non-existent.
- My relatives always ask "Cody, do have a special girl in your life that you like to kiss and hug?" and just once, I'd like to say "We do SOOOOO much more than kiss and hug. We created this position that has a yoga ball involved in it..."
- Guys, if your girlfriend is about to scootchie, then get her a Gucci so you can keep that cootchie.
- "Dude, there's drunks, whores, people acting like complete idiots, and gingers everywhere!" Wow, is it St. Patrick's Day? "No, it's a Tuesday at LE.."
- If the Gamecocks intercepts the ball, could we call that a cockblock?
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