Beliebers Be Trippin'

Teresa TrainingBra here decided she wanted to show her love for her favorite pre-pubescent pop star, Justin Bieber, by carving "JB i love" into her skin, which I assume has never been touched by the opposite sex. Let's examine this photo, shall we? 

• Better break out that razor again, Teresa, looks like someone forgot to capitalize "I" in their scenie weenie expression of obsession! Maybe you would've gotten it right the first cut around if you paid attention in your remedial English class!
• Wtf is that junk in the bin? Looks like a pair of blue, knock-off Ray Bans. Someone is stylish!
• Notice the dust pan. For someone who a OCD neat freak, they sure can't cut a straight line.
• She's going to regret this when she grows up gets marri- PAHAHAHAH! No, she isn't going to get married. But all her cats she's gonna own are gonna be like "Mr. Whiskers, wtf is that on her arm?"
• We don't need people like this in the world. We really don't. All of you are like "Yeah, because she's crazy to do that to herself because of a singer." No. That's not it at all. She didn't even spell out his full name. I don't like people who half-ass stuff. She could have started at the shoulder and spelled out his full name. Don't do something if you're not gonna do it right. 
• Why couldn't she be psycho over someone with a longer name? Ya know, someone who would get her closer to the larger vein? Zach Galifianakis, perhaps.

G6's are Fly Like me

This is just a collection of some of my favorite jokes I've posted.

• They say guys think with their dick. Will you blow my mind?
• "Stockings ripped all up the side." Oh no! That means your presents from Santa will fall out! 
• Telling a girl you masturbate while thinking of her is like being the best accordion player in the world: that’s good for you and all, but it makes people think you’re weird.
• Geometry is like making love; I have absolutely no idea how to do it. I just nod my head if someone asks if I get it and hope they don’t ask me to go into detail.
• "Anime Club" and "Abstinence Club" are actually the same thing.
• If you're really quiet at midnight, you might just hear Tiger Woods digging himself into a deeper hole. (Translate that into whatever you may.)
• The band kids breed like freakin' rabbits. I see a new pale, yet somehow sexually active band junkie every day.
• “Me and ****** just broke up” I CALL SLOPPY SECONDS!!
• I expect that getting the news that you're adopted isn't so bad when you're from Georgia. "I'm adopted?! Dern, this is my lucky day, bo! This means that me and Sissy ain't going to hell for what we've been doing in the pick-up!"
• Girls, I know you like a guy in uniform. But if that uniform is a white polo shirt and khakis, then you're barking up the wrong tree.
• "Whore" and "female LE freshman" actually mean the same thing.
• If a girl asks me if I'm gay, I'm going to say yes and see just how many sexy sleepovers and midnight hot tub parties I can get out of it. "Cody, I don't think I'd be any good at sex." Weeelllll, if you reeaaalllllyyyy want to, we can do it and I'll tell you if you are or not. "Aww, that's so sweet. Do you wa-" LET'S DO IT NOW!.....um, gurrrrllll. 
• Thank You, God, for vaginas. I've heard they're pretty awesome.

I'm Such a Treat

I've figured out why I'm just so....out there/crazy/offbeat. It's because I don't have anyone to keep me in line. I've been single a while, and in the words of Bill Burr, “There’s this point when you’ve been single for too long where your brain switches from 'Hey, don’t say that, just don' to “Eeeeh, f***ing say it. See what happens'” I mean, that sums it up. I just don't have anyone to slap me on the back of the head when I do or say something stupid. 
I'm  forever alone/awesome

• Girls haven't figured out that they shouldn't send nude pics to guys.They’re like sexy baseball cards to us. “Dude, I’ll give you two topless for that one vajayjay.” I love this one and those are like, b-cups. (Bit)
• Superhero’s lives would be a lot easier if they had a gun. Green Goblin would be like “Attention, Spiderman, I have your beloved aunt May. If you want her back alive, you’ll have battle me!” and Spiderman would be like “Umm, f*** that.” and he’d just pull out a glock and shoot him in the head. Batman wouldn’t have to keep battling Joker. Just pump him full of lead when he had the chance. Heath Ledger would still be alive and Christian Bale wouldn’t have to do that God awful grunt voice when he’s Batman. (Bit)
• If you call a gay guy an ***hole, is it the same as calling a straight guy a pussy?
• Freedom of speech is like art. It’s a great thing when someone uses it because they have something to say, but it’s abused when people just put mindless, thoughtless shit out there.
• “Edit friends” means “Delete annoying freshmen”
• You make one gay joke and all of the sudden, you’re Neopets account is deleted…
• If Eve didn’t eat the fruit….we would all be naked right now. And God didn’t say anything in the Bible about sex until AFTER she and Adam at the fruit. So we could’ve just had sex with everyone.And I’m sure we would all look amazing and sexy. Danggit, Eve.
• I didn’t get a boner. My penis just got scared of those enormous things on your chest and it made itself bigger to seem more intimidating.